I hate that we have always been in debt. The feelings I have had about debt have changed depending on our situation at the time. In some years it has felt like the debt was water in a sinking boat. We could do what we could to keep it from sinking but it was never going to be fixed. No matter what we do, it is never going to get better.
I have felt at times that debt was just meant to be apart of our lives. That we would always have debt. That it was apart of our story.
We have had a lot of job changes over the years. When you are always starting over with a new career, it is a lot harder to work your way up and your pay suffers.
After looking at our income and what we need to pay the bills, one thing is very clear. If we didn't have the debt we did, we would be living a very different life without needing to change our income.
This was huge to us!
Huge! And it caused us to take a step back and take a look at what brought us to this place. How did we allow ourselves to still be in this situation now that we are heading into our 40s? Why didn't we get this fixed when we were in our 20s?
Well, I don't have a lot of excuses. Our debt is a combination of some bad choices, some misunderstandings and a lack of thinking we could live any other way. As I look back in our married years together I can honestly say that I am glad for the experiences we have had. I am happy with the amount of children we have. I am thankful all of that happened the way it did. I really am.
However, because of the choices we made to get to where we are today, we are in this debt mess. Maybe it was worth it? Maybe this is just the road we needed to take? I don't know.
But now, in 2015, with a new year ahead of us, we need to make some changes. I don't want to be in debt forever. I want to have a debt free life. I don't want to have so many bills. I don't want to pay so much in interest. I hate it.
Before we know it, 2016 will be here and with a new year I want to focus on a new way of being. I want a simple life. I want good things for my family. I want to have good experiences. I want to only buy what we need and very little of what we want. I want to find that perfect balance. I want to declutter and make my house a place free of excess things. I want change.
It is going to be a lot of work to get to where we want to be. It might take years but it will be worth it.